A journey into learning

This has been bothering me for a little while now. I keep bumping into some of the kids I taught last year. That’s perhaps not the right word at all. Perhaps I didn’t actually teach them anything. Every encounter leaves me riddled with disappointment and guilt. The conversations with them always make me feel that  they learned nothing last year and now it’s much better because they are learning a lot. (I have to emphasise that I am an absolute fan of their new teacher and one of the reasons why I was so relaxed to leave the school was because I knew he was going to take over my groups. Also, I don’t crave my students’ laments about how much they miss me half a year later.)

It just makes me think. And this thinking often brings me to the same conclusion. We get these kids very young and we engrave our idea of what teaching and  learning is at a very early stage. They earn their roles as students and we tell them what a teacher is like. And when they encounter a different set of values and a different attitude they are shocked and almost incapable of adapting to it. This is of course reinforced by school administrations and parents who were brought up with the same kind of reverence for grades, tests and authority. The roles are fossilised in most systems.

I got very excited in September last year when I got a call from out of the blue pretty much begging me to do what I had thought I was bursting to do: teach in a secondary school in Budapest, and put all my ideals and ideas about teaching into practice. I kept banging my head into walls and encountered pretty severe resistance from students. Every time I tried to discuss the issue with my students I got the same answer: you should be more strict. We should do more tests. We have only done two units of the book. When are we going to prepare for the language exam? You like us too much.

Of course, the students were reflecting the school management’s and their parents’ expectations as well. For a while, I tried to resist and kept at it, but soon I realised that there was little use trying to change people, and I found myself reverting back to the good old model of teaching to test.

This was the main reason that I didn’t mind finding someone to take over my spot, and then finding the best possible person, I was relaxed about the way things turned out. But then there are these encounters with my ex students, and while I don’t think I have anything to be ashamed of,  I always feel a bit of blame in my students’ voices for the one year of their lives I wasted.  They might be right but knowing what I know – believing in independence; taking responsibility for one’s own learning;  that sticks and carrots are a clumsy and useless method of evaluation; engaging the intellect and emotions of the students; and not succumbing to the traditional way of teaching – has become such a vital part of who I am as a teacher and a human being that I am not willing to sacrifice that.

It was with these thoughts that I sat down to my computer that evening after talking to one of these ex-students, who though very kind and gentle, sort of made me feel the same guilt.

And then I open my Facebook account and I find this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The link pointed to this video presentation:

29 WAYS TO STAY CREATIVE from TO-FU on Vimeo.

And I felt somewhat better. Yes, this is something I want to achieve: my students watching videos like this in their spare time and thinking: he might have shown this but if not I’m sure he will like it. Did she learn something from me she might not have otherwise? Perhaps. She definitely made my day and restored some of my somewhat diminished trust in students and teaching.

I think I can only teach people I like (having said that, I do like just about everyone), and I can only teach people who understand that learning is not a duty; it’s why we are here and why we are special. We can enjoy learning from each other and just because one party gets paid to do so it does not mean that they have the authority. It only means that their responsibility is even bigger.

Very interesting that just as I finished this post I came across this Conversation on TED: Well worth a read and it’s somewhat relevant.

 

 

 

 

I will look at this issue from a bit of a different perspective in my next post, where I will look at the responsibility schools take (or not, as the case may be) in sapping students’ abilities to think creatively.  I believe that all we are doing is preparing school leavers to work the system, which of course compels them to maintain the system, rather than giving them the tools, mentality, motivation and bravery to  critique, reform or even tear down systems that don’t serve them well (enough).

Related articles

• Bring Language to Life in Your Classroom (by Karen Frazier) (teachingvillage.org)
• Being Involved=Belong to Class (mmselsectionc.wordpress.com)
• Authority leads students to responsibility (mmselsectionc.wordpress.com)
• Letting students teach themselves. Sugata Mitra’s new experiments in self-teaching (soclassaction.wordpress.com)
• Why I Teach (tokickapigeon.wordpress.com)

I am so very excited about the buzz iTDi has created. Can’t wait to see this great initiative unfold and turn English language teachers’ professional development into a truly community experience.

Thanks to Chiew for posting this brilliant short video with Scott on his great blog. (Nominated for the #eddies11, please vote for it if you have a minute).

What is iTDi and who is it for?

Online is not only a means of delivering content but more importantly: “creating a kind of community of like-minded teachers who are dedicated to their own professional development”. (Scott Thornbury, co-founder of iTDi)

Facebook                    Twitter                   Blog

Join the conversation by signing up for the webinar: ‘What is a teacher?’  – Saturday December 17th

 

For more information, read Steven’s post on Barbara’s Teaching village blog.

Here is the faculty.

My 11 posts … I should have written … which is actually 22

Adam Simpson – better known as @ayearinthelifeof started a challenge which has already had some pretty groovy responses (Marisa, Tyson, Dave, Tara, Sharon) from some of the great bloggers out there. The challenge is simple: choose 11 posts from the year 2011 and share them in a blog post with a quick description of why you have chosen them.

Cool.

But wait. Sadly, I haven’t had eleven posts this year. Is that supposed to stop me?  Well, no.

Here’s the top 11 blog posts I should/could have written – actually it’s 22. There is one personal and one professional for each.

Post 1.  January 2011

 

Professional: From purple haze to gloomy gray

How the first three  months of enthusiasm about teaching had evaporated by January. It was in January  that I started feeling that banging my head against the wall was starting to make me feel dizzy. My students’ ears were also filled with loud banging noises, not the tranquil wisdom of  learning. The days were short and the nights were not long enough to keep up with two jobs, one of which was teaching full-time, with 25 lessons a week and about 100 kids.

Personal: Home alone

Fida and Sophie went off to Oz, leaving me on my own (with a 14-year old nephew, but more about him later.) Ouch. Miserable, gray Hungary. Had to write MA thesis. Not happy. Not happy at all.

Post 2. February 2011

Professional: Every students is a small island of misery

February is the month when we give mid-term grades and stuff. This is when the teachers sit down in a conference to talk about ‘discipline and industriousness’ grades for each and every student. Yes, not kidding you. Students can’t be failed for these, but they can be given a score of 2 out of 5, which means that they are very, very bad.  I find this an extraordinarily ridiculous thing, but what I find particularly annoying is that it gives teachers licence to publicly discuss the kids. Who comes from a  broken family, for example, who has emotional problems, whose parents are getting divorced – stuff that you should really find out yourself, if the student wants you to know.

Personal: I never ever ever want to live with a 14 year-old boy ever again

In a vain attempt to teach him that learning can be fun and to guide him out of bad company, my sister’s 14-year-old son came to live with us for the academic year. It was a sobering experience. He was absolutely fine, I think, probably just another 14-year-old boy. (Was I wrong to judge him just because he wasn’t reading Samuel Coleridge, which is what I was doing when I was 14?) It was, in all likelihood, that I was not able to cope with the situation. I thought a bit of love and attention would do the trick. Well, no. I had my first encounter with cyberbullying (of which my nephew was the vicitm). Not a nice thing I tell you. But, I think I handled it well all the same.

Post 3. March 2011

Professional: Do I really? Really? Will I ever do this?

Yes, it’s the MA thesis again. I did enjoy some of this course but I still think that it could have been done a lot better. It had brilliant teachers, and the curriculum was OK (ish). There should have been a lot more effort invested into creating a learning community, though. Perhaps it’s my fault, but I would not be able to tell you the names of five people who took part in the course.  I don’t think it was online as online should be done in the 21st century. Sorry.

Pesonal: 12 months back in Hungary – Get me out of here, please

Well, it would have been a great opportunity to face the ghosts and own up. Moving back to Hungary was not the wisest decision. Many of the things I disliked before I left just got a bit worse. The democratic deficit was through the roof. The atmosphere of the country and the prospects of Hungarians were bleak. With a populist, right-wing, elitist government driving the country into a bottomless pit, it’s just not the place anyone should at if they have half a chance of leaving. I know this sounds really unpatriotic, but there is just no way this is going in the right direction. (And this being done by the party I joined in 1989 – the first and last time for me to do so. Devastated.) Just came in as I was writing this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-15982882

Post  4. April, 2011

Professional:NyESzE conference – BrightOnline – on not going to IATEFL-UK

Presenting at this conference is always an interesting experience. It’s organised by the the Association of Quality Language Schools. It’s for PLS-es and my talk, which came with the message: “Don’t come to conferences. You do yourself much more of a favour by staying at home, with a cuppa in your dressing gown and turning on the computer” was quite well received. The wonderful Mark Andrews came up with the idea of creating an event at the conference which involved the IATEFL Conference in Brighton.  Which brings me to a lo-light of the year – not attending IATEFK-UK.  Unfortunately, the committee took a bit too long in deciding to accept my proposal, by which time the principal at my secondary school would have been less than happy for me to go yet again. Not to mention, of course, that on my shining salary of 300GBP a month, there was no way I would have been able to finance the trip anyway.

Personal: We are pregnant!

Yes, this says it all. We could let the world know that we were expecting another baby. The terror, the happiness, the excitement of it all.

Post 5. May, 2011

Professional: Final bloody exams

Exams are for those who want to prove to others something they don’t know – OK, in a blog post I would probably elaborate on this a bit. But for the time being, enough said.

Also this month:

Miracles happen: Submitted my Dissertation

Personal: Wyn was here

Wyn -We had a visit from Fida’s best friend from Oz, a wonderful young man who can make my wife laugh even when she is feeling really low. His visit was such a blast for all of us, and we felt how important it is to have friends. You do become a bit anti-social when you have kids. It takes a lot of determination and discipline to keep alive the few meaningful relationships you make during your life. We have not been very good at this. Will work on it a bit more.

Post 6. June, 2011

Professional: Will I ever want to go back to public education?

Well, not really, sorry. By the end of June I felt completely squeezed out. My reserves of enthusiasm, passion and love had been completely exhausted by the time the students left on the last day. I taught 4 very different classes, I had 4 very different send-offs.

Personal: Nephew leaves

This would have deserved a celebratory/reflective post on what we did and did not achieve with my nephew staying with us for 10 months. Can anyone ever know what a 14-year-old is thinking?  (in our case, not much at all.) It’s easier to teach them than raise them, I think.

Post 7. July, 2011

Professional: PeopleTeam Camp

A fantastic idea from the teacher I probably admire the most in Hungary (Tibor Prievara of tanarblog.hu fame). Instead of giving crappy English lessons to kids in a very popular summer camp, he thought,why don’t we turn it into a  professional development opportunity for pre-service and novice English teachers?  So that’s what we did, and we had a lot of fun doing it.

Personal: Hate being absent father

While I was having fun at the camp, it was a tough time for the family, as my pregnant wife had to look after Sophie without my help. One of the campers, tough, did provide the inspiration for our new daughter’s name: Jasmin.

Post 8. August, 2011

Professional: Back in Oxford

I still love this city a lot.  I was there to prepare for a teacher training course in Palestine in September.  I saw many old friends and the familiar smell and feel of the Potato Building. Nice. Great chat with Wendy and Debbie. Was very excited about the whole thing.

Personal: On not going to Sziget Festival

The best and greatest music festival in Central Europe with some great gigs, and awesome atmosphere. I was sorry to have missed it. I would have written about how I felt one day back in 1996, when I was on a train taking me to my first day of military service,  I saw loads of young people in the same carriage as me get off to go to the festival. (Devastated, in case you were wondering.)  Had I gone this year, I would have raved about the concerts I had seen there, etc.

Post 9. September, 2011

Professional: Palestine, here I come again

I spent two fantastic weeks with two wonderful trainers in and around Ramallah. I worked with and met some fantastic teachers. It really was learning more than teaching. Thank you, Palestine. A tough country (sic) with the most amazing people.  I also revisited some eacher training crash courses and asked myself what their benefits were -   how could their impact be maximised and why we are not doing it?

Personal: Two weeks without my girls

The pain of it all.

Also this month:

Hey, International Community, you actually have a chance to put something right – will you do so? Oh no. Palestine remains a war-torn non-state.

Post 10. October,  2011

Professional: IATEFL-H conference:

It was great fun to be on the organising committee.  I made some great friends and learned a lot.

Also this month…

So, what’s next?

Job applications were flying off at dizzying speeds and frequency.  It was nice to realise that there are many things I would be quite good at doing. Convincing others of that is always the tricky bit, though.  Dear Institute of Applied Technologies, Dubai, UAE. – an automated message saying “Pre-selected out”  is not the best way to reject someone who’s made the effort to apply to work for you.  Kudos to the newly relaunched teaching centre at the British Council Hungary, though, for ‘pre-selecting’ me in.  Nice one. Like it. I look forward to teaching there from January.

Personal: Jasmin

Yes. Our second wonderful daughter was born at 1:48 am on 26th October 2011 – a day I will never forget. I never believed when they told me that your love doubles with the second. I was scared to take anything  away from Da Sophs. Well there was no need to worry. There has always been a Jas shaped blank space in my heart I had not known of before she was born. Now I feel complete. She’s the one I have been waiting for.

Post 11. November 2011

Professional: Online exam preparation – what have I learned? What would I do differently?

This was something I slowly – perhaps a bit too slowly – picked up. It has become my main employment, and I haven’t written about it yet.

Personal: Da Sophs (aka Sophichine) is two years old

She is every bit the miracle she has been since the day she was born. At the moment the journeys we make to daycare three times a week are the best bonding experience.

 

Well, these are 22 posts I should and could have written. I haven’t but at least I had a great time writing this list up.

It’s been a full and interesting year. Not one that I would particularly like to re-live, but one that has been full of life-changing moments. On balance it was a pretty good year but I am quite happy to leave it behind and get started with the next one.

Thanks Adam, for making me write it.

One of the many memorable moments: My PechaKucha at the 21st Annual Iatefl-H Conference I took some part in organising and moderating: 20 things I have learned from my 20-month-old.

Related articles

• Hungary outlaws homeless people (bbc.co.uk)
• Iceland Recognises Palestine as Independent State (ibtimes.com)
• Unesco grants Palestine full membership – The Guardian (news.google.com)